Deeper and Better than a Thank You

By Shanna Gronewald, PowerHouse Youth Specialist

“You know I love you Shanna,” the 14 year old girl I have mentored over the past 3 years says to me in my car as we drive from St. Paul to South Minneapolis.  

I’m driving her and her stuff from her friend’s house where she has been staying for the past several months because she’s had nowhere else to stay.  Homeless is the word for it but it’s a word too harsh to say out loud.  Her aunt’s house is where she will now stay, a more permanent place both she and I hope. Her friend’s mom is less optimistic and says to the 14 year old girl as she walks out the door with her last garbage bag of stuff, “See you back here in a week.”

Even though she tries to hide it I can see the pain on the 14 year old girl’s face. She doesn’t want to have to be back in a week, but she knows all too well it could happen – she doesn’t think about it at the moment; she wants to hold onto the optimism.

“You know I love you Shanna” she says to me to thank me for everything I do for her – both of us knowing a thank you isn’t needed.   Love doesn’t always need a thank you.

Her prayer in church with me a couple weeks ago was the biggest thank you I have ever received; she prayed out loud for the church to hear without being asked or prompted.  “Lord thank you for the people in my life that care about me,”  short, sweet, and simple with no more than that needing to be said – no names needed to given – a thank you to God is more than a thank you I need.

“You know I love you Shanna” this 14 year old girl says to me.

“I know. I love you too.” I say back to her.

“I know.” She says.

We both smile. We know – which is deeper and better than any thank you.

Helping kids speak a better story

Mike Peterson (Powerhouse Director)

“We live in a world where bad stories are told, stories that teach us life doesn’t mean anything and that humanity has no great purpose.  It’s a good calling, then, to speak a better story.  How brightly a better story shines.  How easily the world looks to it in wonder.  How grateful we are to hear these stories, and how happy it makes us to repeat them.”  -Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

Working with kids makes me think a lot about stories… not bedtime stories or ghost stories, but the actual stories that the kids I work with are living out every day.  Often when I listen to the discouraging stories that are part of their family history, I feel like I am watching a sequel unfold with another all-too-predictable ending.  Who can blame the kids when these are the only stories they know? “People like you don’t do things like that,” they hear over and over, whether spoken or implied.

This becomes the reality of life for them.  The drama of gangs, drugs, and dysfunctional relationships at least provides a more exciting alternative to the loveless, hopeless, purposeless stories that seem to already be written out for them.  This is the world where most of the kids I work with live… a world full of bad stories… a world teaching them that life doesn’t mean anything and that they have no great purpose… a world where survival is the most important moral value and the best escape is the excitement of the drama.

If only they could see that there IS a better story.  There is a story full of love, hope and purpose that God is inviting them to be a part of.  This is our challenge: to extend the invitation to a better story and help them live it out.  Some are getting it.  I see signs that the plot is beginning to change… a girl asks for help picking out a promise ring, a symbol of her commitment to not have sex until she’s married… another girl brings in her report card: straight A’s… a group of kids come forward at a summer camp to give their lives to Christ and begin a new story… a boy decides not to run away from home and apologizes to his mom, because (as he puts it) “that’s what happens when you’re in church”… another one gets a job for the first time and won’t have to “hustle” to buy his clothes.

This is only the beginning and there is still much to be told, but I have hope that one day we will be able see a group of kids who have broken away from the bad stories they have been told and are able to, through their lives, “speak a better story.”

Chilly Powerhouse Camping Trip!

Shanna Gronewold – (Powerhouse Youth Worker)

Powerhouse took youth camping for a night couple of weeks ago – the low was 34 degrees and came around 3am.  There were 13 girls in an 8 person tent – I prayed for their warmth and that I wouldn’t wake up with anyone dead of hypothermia on my hands.

At 3am the deep freeze of the night fully surrounding us, all the girls were awake and cold and half having to go to the bathroom.  So I got out of my cozy sleeping bag and gathered up the girls who had to go to the bathroom and we hiked our way there by the bright glow of the full moon overhead making a flashlight an unnecessary object.

Once everyone had gone to the bathroom and warmed their hands with the hand dryer I gave them their options 1) go back to the tent and go to sleep 2) go to the van and turn it on for 15 minutes to warm up and then go back into their tent.  They discussed their options as a group, together weighing the pros and cons.  In the end their final decision was to go back to the tent and go to sleep because it would be worse to get warm and have to go back into the cold than to just stay cold and half the girls were still in the tent and they didn’t want to leave them.

So we trekked back to our tents in the moonlight with the frost covered ground beneath our feet and dug ourselves deeper into our covers to make it through this cold night in October camping.  I was proud of these girls for their decision making – my heart swells to overflowing with love for them. I count it a gift to know them even standing in the freezing cold bathroom at 3am trying to get warmed by the hand dryer – getting to love these girls is a gift.

We got up in the morning with the sun slowly rising and misty fog covering the river behind us.  The mist was evidence of the air colder than the water and the sun slowly rising was evidence that we all survived our cold night of camping. Way to go us.

-Shanna Gronewold

Reflection: Powerhouse summer travels

Shanna Gronewold – (Powerhouse Youth Worker)

Trinidad and Tobago:

This summer we, at Powerhouse, took five of our high school youth on a mission trip through Global Expeditions to Trinidad and Tobago, thanks to the sponsorship and support of John Marshalla.

One afternoon we went to a village in the middle of the country were we partnered with a church for the day. Our youth joined their youth for a boys versus girls cook-off (which the girls won) and then we broke up into small groups with an elder from the church in each group and went to people’s homes in the village to pray for them. The elder in my group amazed me and this is a reflection I wrote after spending the afternoon with her.

Wise old woman your faith amazes me.
Let me walk with you.
Let me hold your weathered hand.
Let me listen to you speak and pray.
In hopes that some of your faith may slip into me.

You are beautiful
Short and shrinking stature, face covered in wrinkles, lines showing the life you’ve lived – plenty of smiling and laughing, plenty of weeping and mourning

Your quiet countenance shows nothing could really surprise you
Either good or bad because you’ve seen so much, experienced so much
Even though you have never left your village here in the middle of Trinidad
You know this, your village, like the back of your hand
Its roads and trees and houses long been memorized
Walked so many times there is no use trying to count
Its lush trees and flowers, fruits and flora
Been there longer than you and no longer noticed
You know the people here, of your village
You know their names, faces, stories, struggles, and joys.
You’ve seen God move among your neighbors
You’ve seen prayers answered and others still you wait for expectantly
You love your neighbors – your community
You are humble
Speaking softly when spoken to
That I must lean my ear in to hear

But

Then when you pray something explodes out of you
Words spoken to your intimate Lord loud and passionate
A foreigner might think you are yelling
But standing next to you with your hands on the shoulder of your dear neighbor whose husband just died and is grieving – I watch you, you with your eyes shut so tight your many wrinkles make your eyes disappear into the desperate look on your face as you pray – loud and bold
I know you were not yelling but crying out to your Lord
Passionately, confidently begging for your Lord to comfort your neighbor and friend
As you pray I see the woman beneath your hands – tears pour from her eyes and she rocks slightly in the cadence of your voice as if she was trying to wash herself in your words – to let them wrap around her skin and hurting heart

You finish your prayer say amen the woman beneath your hands nods her head in agreeance the tears only beginning to slow their flow. You hug her hard and long as if to seal the words of your prayer into her, getting them to stick to her skin like a sweaty t-shirt on a hot day.

You then turn and walk away returning to your quiet disposition

Wise old woman your faith amazes me.
Let me walk with you.
Let me hold your weathered hand.
Let me listen to you speak and pray.
In hopes that some of your faith may slip into me.

………

Also on the mission trip a few of our youth and I got the opportunity to spend a couple of hours playing with kids at a HIV/AIDS orphanage in Trinidad. This is a reflection I wrote in response to that experience:

Their hunger for love
Tangible
Touchable
Their arms outstretched
Their arms hugging tight
Refuse to let go
Refuse to let go

They are children
Innocent
Beautiful
Playful
Sassy
Laughing
Singing

They have a death sentence
HIV/AIDS
The virus they all have
There is no cure
At various stages of sickness
Timeliness individual
But the outcome the same
Ultimately the outcome the same for all of us
But they are children
Too young to die

They are orphans
Given up
Abandoned
For reasons unknown to me
Maybe fear
Or poverty
Or anger
But in a home together they are
With a few adults and each other growing up
Growing up

We are going to meet them
love them,
play with them
for just a few hours
for just a few moments

Pastor Calvin firmly says to us in the car on our way to their home
Do not pity them.
They do not need your pity.
Love them.
They need your love.

I wonder how I can show them enough love
I wonder how we can show them enough love
(I wonder how I cannot pity them,
Are they not innocent children with a death sentence upon them?)

We arrive
And start to play
I begin talking to two young girls who are quizzing each other to prepare for their national exam
I become the question-asker
They giggle and laugh with delight at each correct answer
And are competitive with each other for who can have the correct answer first
Quizzing turns into singing
Which turns into dancing
They are all just lively children
They are all just children
I think to myself
I love playing with children
I think to myself

After a little while we do our funny skits
Songs
And short talks
Then back to playing of course

The time goes by so fast
But while I’m playing
Laughing
Chasing
Singing
Dancing
Hugging
I notice that they are just children
Beautiful children
But children who are sick and so hungry for love
One child cannot walk
One child is deaf
One child has a leg that doesn’t work
One child looks so tired
One child has sores on his head
One child won’t look at anyone with her eyes, her head held low
They all just want our attention
They all just want our love
For themselves
Individually

One girl who was deaf and couldn’t speak
Put her arms around a youth from our team
And wouldn’t let go
For 20 minutes
There they stood
In a hug because she wouldn’t let go, didn’t want to let go

Their hunger for love
Tangible
Touchable
Their arms outstretched
Their arms hugging tight
Refuse to let go
Refuse to let go

It was a beautiful time with them, time too short,
It was silent while we drove back home
All of us deep in thought

I couldn’t help but wonder:

Did I show them enough love?
Did we show them enough love?
Do I pity them?

I believe we did show them love
But the time was too short
And their hunger too big
To show them enough
They need more

Their hunger for love
Tangible
Touchable
Their arms outstretched
Their arms hugging tight
Refuse to let go
Refuse to let go

Boundary Waters:

This summer my co-worker Lyndsey and I took 5 girls we work with and mentor to the Boundary Waters for a week through the organization Big City Mountaineers.

9 of us women in the Boundary Waters – 1 guide, 3 adult leaders, 5 youth from Minneapolis. 5 of the 9 had never been to the Boundary Waters before. This is a reflection from the day it rained almost all day:

Paddle on
Paddle on
As the rain pours down
As the rain pours down
Soaked to the bone
Paddle on
Paddle on

Here we are out in the wilderness
Us from the city so far from home
No one except us and nature
Us and the elements
Us and the water and trees
Us and our rain-soaked gear

Nature is often harsher than people let on
The wind, rain, lightening, thunder, mosquitoes,
All elements to be battled
To be fought
With intelligence
With skill
For survival

Like surviving in the city some could say
Like surviving adolescence some could say

The rain pours down
Relentless
But on we must portage
On we much go

Toes and noses cold
Keep moving
Keep pushing
To prevent hypothermia our guide states

We listen
We obey
Here in the wilderness
Just us and the elements
Us from the city so far from home

Paddle on
Paddle on
As the rain pours down
As the rain pours down
Soaked to the bone
Paddle on
Paddle on

On and on all day
Many miles covered
Over water and land
Stopping twice
For lighting position
10 feet apart
Sitting on our life vests
Knees tucked up tight
To be safe if lightning strikes

This is crazy we all think but no one states
For fear it will bring down morale
So instead we laugh and

Paddle on
Paddle on
As the rain pours down
As the rain pours down
Soaked to the bone
Paddle on
Paddle on

We reach our campsite as the storm breaks
Our reward
Our battle with the elements won
Everyone’s sore and exhausted
But we did it
We all smile and sigh

Watching the sunset together
High on a rock overlooking the water
The sunset of bright hues
Over the now peaceful waters
As flat as glass and reflective as a mirror
It’s all worth it we say
But still we hope it won’t rain another day

Like life in the city some could say
Like growing up some could say
Like life’s mix of good and bad
Of battles fought
Won and lost
And moments of peace
That motivates us to go on
Us from the city so far from home

Paddle on
Paddle on
As the rain pours down
As the rain pours down
Soaked to the bone
Paddle on
Paddle on

PowerHouse youth leaders go to Trinidad for a mission trip

Tony Wald, Urban Ventures volunteer blogger

Skateboarding, music producing and changing the world is all getting done at Urban Ventures in south Minneapolis. PowerHouse is a program at Urban Ventures that is changing the landscape for at-risk youth from ages 12 through 18. Ramon, age 15, describes PowerHouse: “It’s safe. A place you can trust people and say how you feel.” Tameka, age 16 and another PowerHouse member adds, “Here there are people like you, or going through similar situations, so you don’t feel alone.” By giving them a safe place to express themselves with help from adult mentors and providing service projects to give these kids a sense of perspective and responsibility, PowerHouse is supplying future leaders who are overcoming adversity and could someday inspire others to do the same.

The future for five of these kids starts this summer. PowerHouse is taking them on a mission trip to Trinidad. These five were selected through an application and interviewing procedure. Participation and good behavior also were determining factors in the decision-making process. Tameka and Ramon are two of the five who were selected to go, and they shared some of their thoughts with me about their upcoming trip.

Tameka

“We came up with the idea by watching a documentary on Africa, about people going to help the Africans,” Tameka explains the inspiration behind their trip to Trinidad.

Knowing it takes more than inspiration to get to Trinidad, the kids set out to do some fundraising. “We are writing letters to potential sponsors, doing a pancake breakfast, and some car washes,” Ramon explains. Giving these kids some responsibility to come up with, and executing these fundraising tactics, is a prime example of how PowerHouse prepares future leaders.

Ramon and Tameka both believe that their time at PowerHouse has helped prepare them for their Trinidad mission trip, but before they go to Trinidad they will receive more training on what to expect and how to deal with potential situations they may encounter. When I asked them what they expect Trinidad to be like Tameka answered quickly, “Hot!” and Ramon added, “Beautiful.” After these initial thoughts they explained what they plan to do, and how they can help. Ramon, whose mother currently lives in a nursing home due to health issues, says “I like to share what I’ve been through. That way I can relate to them (the kids in

Ramon

Trinidad). When I get to Trinidad I can speak to kids who may not have parents around.” Tameka echoes Ramon’s sentiment that being able to relate to the kids of Trinidad will be important: “I can try to help the kids like me. Who may not want to share their stories, like me sometimes….” Ramon went on to explain what he wants to accomplish there as, “whatever they ask me to do. Help kids in poverty. Paint houses. Bring God.”

Tameka and Ramon also explained that while they were excited to be of service to the people of Trinidad, they also are cognizant of how this trip could serve as an education to them. “A life experience, something I can tell people I did when I was young,” Tameka explained. “To get some leadership skills, to be thankful for what we have,” Ramon said with a sense of humility far exceeding his years. Their intent to bring back their lessons in Trinidad to better serve their community is both impressive and inspiring.

PowerHouse could not be prouder of these young world ambassadors, and is excited to watch them shine in Trinidad. We cannot wait for their return in hopes that another blog full of Trinidadian experience will follow.

Thank you to John Marshalla for this incredible opportunity.

(Editor’s note: Tameka and Ramon are now serving in Trinidad. Please keep them and the rest of our PowerHouse team in your prayers. They will return in late June.)

Breaking the cycles

Shanna Gronewold (Powerhouse Youth Worker)Cycles are difficult to break More effort exerted to cut than to keep

Cycles carry themselves
With no effort or inconvenience
For generations
Upon generations

These are the cycles I see
Poverty
Teen pregnancy
Hopelessness
Educationless
Abuse of drugs, alcohol, and sex
Gangs around
Gangs passed down

These are the cycles that catch our youth
That pull at them
That draws them in

But every day I see
Individual youth break a chain or
Break a single link
Of a cycle with its million chains and countless links

One tells me she made up two credits she was missing to graduate
One tells me she got to school on time for a whole week
One tells me she took good care of her siblings all weekend
One tells me she got a job

One tells me she picked out the college she wants to go to
One tells me she broke up with her boyfriend she knew wasn’t good for her
One tells me she bought groceries for her family

One tells me she wants to be a social worker when she grows up
One tells me she wants to be a nurse
One tells me she just wants to help people

One tells me…
One tells me…
One tells me…

A million little choices made against the cycles
Breaks the chains
Link by link

These are the youth I know
And whether or not they know
They are breaking the cycles

Leadership lessons on the Boundary Waters

Gary Ross (Powerhouse Youth Worker)

My Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness (BWCA) trip in July 2009 is one that I will never forget. I packed up the van with five boys and headed north to Ely, Minn. Three of the young men had never been camping up in the wilderness and were really excited about the beauty surrounding them. We unpacked the van and took a tour of the area and the wilderness. Of course, they looked for bears and moose but we did not see any.

Ramon was our peer leader on the trip. It was his second year going to BWCA and he displayed maturity and skills learned from the previous year. Ramon earned the position of leader with his respect for others and himself.

One of the boys had a meltdown on the second day. The other four refused to let his behavior ruin the trip. We all sat down to discuss what we should do and came to a mutual decision that they were there to enjoy nature, learn and have a good time. Tyler, the youngest on the trip, came to me and said that he would rather listen to loons and eagles than gunfire and sirens. At that point, I knew we were going to have a good time. We decided to drive the frustrated young man to the Duluth bus station two and a half hours away. We bought him a one-way ticket to Minneapolis with his dad’s blessing.

I was proud to see the youth work together and encourage each other. During the T rescue drill (where the canoe tips and they have to get back inside by helping each other), I heard Ramon tell the boys that we did not come all the way to Ely to give up.

The third day was the best because it was the first day on the water. Ramon encouraged everyone to drink plenty of water and rest, and helped them when needed. Brett, another kid who never experienced the outdoors, said that was one of the best trips of his life. He sat on the rocks and watched an eagle swoop down and take fish.

The fourth day was windy. Bryant looked back at me and said, “Hey Gary, are you praying yet?” There were white caps on the lake and it was very hard to steer the canoe. I thought to myself, “Oh boy, we are in trouble.” These young men really worked together and were patient and determined to make it across the lake. The kids in one canoe struggled and had a hard time keeping up with the group. Bryant had this bright idea to take ropes and tie the canoes together and we made it to shore as a team.

I thank God every day for allowing me to work with these kids. I feel all of our kids are leaders. I’m expecting all of the kids will want to come back except for one.

A 14-year-old girl I know…

Shanna Gronewold (Powerhouse Youth Worker)

The depth of her pain unknown
The depth of her brokenness unknown
Can’t be seen with the eyes
Can’t be felt with a hand across her skin
It comes out in fragmented ways

Failing classes
Discipline referrals
Irresponsible sex
Lack of care about anything
Really

But she says I love you every time she hangs up the phone with me
She thanks me for spending time with her when she gets out of my car
She smiles when I see her
Often jumping up and running towards me to give me a hug

Words she tells me lack hope
In herself
In her life
In her future

But when I see her
When I hear her voice
I see hope
How can I get her to see her own hope?

I think this is often us. We are blind to our own hope and the hope around us.

My prayer: Papa God, help us to see the hope you have given us. Help us to see presence of hope around us and in us. Amen.

Is PowerHouse safe?

Mike Peterson (Powerhouse Director)

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to meet for the first time with the new Powerhouse leadership team. The leadership team is a group of four of our kids who filled out an application, went through an interview process, and will now be responsible for helping to plan Powerhouse events as well as acting as representatives for Powerhouse when needed.

At our first meeting, one of our tasks was to work on putting together a video that would represent what the program is about. I handed our leadership team a camera, put them in the recording studio, and told them that they were responsible for getting some footage we could use in the video. They would have to come up with the questions and conduct the interviews with each other. I told them they had 30 minutes and shut the door. I wasn’t sure how it would turn out, but I wanted to give them some ownership in the project. They are, after all, the “leadership team.”

I didn’t get to see what they taped until I began editing the video a couple of days later. To say I was pleasantly surprised with what I saw would be an understatement. The video definitely had its fair share of goofiness, but there were moments of honesty mixed in that gave me a rare glimpse into what Powerhouse really means for our kids.

I won’t go into detail about everything they talked about, but there was one thing in particular from the video that stuck out to me. They asked each other a lot of the typical questions like, “What do you do at Powerhouse?” and “What has Powerhouse done for you?” but I was surprised to hear them ask the question, “Is Powerhouse safe?” Remember, I had not prompted them at all with the types of questions to ask and I was not in the room to watch them interview each other. For some reason, this question of “Is Powerhouse safe?” was important enough for them to include in a video that represents what Powerhouse is about.

It reminded me of the fact that a lot of our participants come from situations where they don’t feel safe a lot of the time. For our kids school may not be a safe place, home is not a safe place, and their neighborhood may not feel like a safe place. Our programs offer a refuge where they are able to let down their guard a little bit, trust a little bit, and know that the people here will not belittle them, use them, hurt them, or let them down.

During this season where we focus on the God of the universe who became a baby, I am reminded of the invitation he offered to his followers nearly 30 years after his birth, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matt 11:28-29) I pray that as we follow Christ we would continue to offer a safe place for our participants and that we would point them during this season to the one who provides true rest for our souls.